“Additionally,” he said, smirking at me, “your detailed inspection should reveal that it’s topped with tomatillos, leaf lettuce and Chihuahua cheese.”
I dropped the covering half of the bread and shoved myself away from it. “Ew,” I said. “Just, ew.”
Garuda looked genuinely crestfallen. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have probably asked if there was something you really objected to before I took the liberty of ordering. What don’t you like?”
“Geez!” I said. “Maybe for starters you could try not putting dog cheese on it, you know?”
Garuda frowned but then it cleared up a second later. “You sure about that?” he said. “I mean, it’s really elite, top-grade stuff. Do you know how many of those tiny little dogs you have to milk to make even a pound of that cheese?”
“I don’t want to know!” I said.
“It would be one thing if they were really big dogs,” he continued, gesturing lazily with his fork. “Wolfhounds or Saint Bernards or the like. Still no scratch on the amount you could get out of a goat or a cow, for instance, but still a respectable quantity. But those little teeny ones? Forget it!”
“Gaah!” I said, covering my ears.
“I actually visited a Chihuahua dairy down in Mexico once. It was really quite fascinating. They’re too small for modern automated milking machines, so they have to reach underneath each teeny little dog with their thumb and forefinger like—this.” Garuda held his fingers up in a tiny little pinch. “And they have the most adorable little buckets you’ve ever—”
“STOP IT!” I said. “Cripes, what is WITH you rich people, huh? Are you all completely mental or what? Just because something is rare and expensive doesn’t mean you automatically have to eat it!”
He grinned at me then, waving his hand. “Relax, Trish.”
“Relax?” I said. “I can’t relax! I don’t even know if I’m ever going to be able to relax again now that I know about this!”
“It’s just cheese from the Chihuahua region of Mexico,” he said. “That’s all.”
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-12-20 05:14 pm (UTC)Chicken of the Room
no subject
Date: 2025-12-20 07:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-12-23 06:05 pm (UTC)I dropped the covering half of the bread and shoved myself away from it. “Ew,” I said. “Just, ew.”
Garuda looked genuinely crestfallen. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have probably asked if there was something you really objected to before I took the liberty of ordering. What don’t you like?”
“Geez!” I said. “Maybe for starters you could try not putting dog cheese on it, you know?”
Garuda frowned but then it cleared up a second later. “You sure about that?” he said. “I mean, it’s really elite, top-grade stuff. Do you know how many of those tiny little dogs you have to milk to make even a pound of that cheese?”
“I don’t want to know!” I said.
“It would be one thing if they were really big dogs,” he continued, gesturing lazily with his fork. “Wolfhounds or Saint Bernards or the like. Still no scratch on the amount you could get out of a goat or a cow, for instance, but still a respectable quantity. But those little teeny ones? Forget it!”
“Gaah!” I said, covering my ears.
“I actually visited a Chihuahua dairy down in Mexico once. It was really quite fascinating. They’re too small for modern automated milking machines, so they have to reach underneath each teeny little dog with their thumb and forefinger like—this.” Garuda held his fingers up in a tiny little pinch. “And they have the most adorable little buckets you’ve ever—”
“STOP IT!” I said. “Cripes, what is WITH you rich people, huh? Are you all completely mental or what? Just because something is rare and expensive doesn’t mean you automatically have to eat it!”
He grinned at me then, waving his hand. “Relax, Trish.”
“Relax?” I said. “I can’t relax! I don’t even know if I’m ever going to be able to relax again now that I know about this!”
“It’s just cheese from the Chihuahua region of Mexico,” he said. “That’s all.”
no subject
Date: 2025-12-24 12:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-12-24 09:02 am (UTC)